lIfe Sucks TAKE 2!
by TENEBRAE99
Summary: Life sucks. Especially if you're my friends and I. We;ve just landed in the middle of a big steaming pile of crap. Worst part, it was caused by a couple of cutesy felines with Fucked up colour schemes. What can we do but be caught in this whirlwind of adventure, comedy and romance? Warning! May contain cliches, and cheesy jokes. Also includes free swearings and a side of peanuts.
1. KITTIES!

I stared blankly at the screen. There was nothing on! I sighed as I switched the channel. I don't want to learn about birds! I sighed again. I stared out the window, and then sighed.

"Tch. Lexi, will you stop sighing. Just stay on one channel and be done with it." Bec muttered at me, irritated. I almost sighed again as I reclined on my chair. I turned off the TV and scratched my nose. I stood up. I paced to the kitchen and back. To the kitchen, then back. Felix chuckled and said, "Why don't you read a book." I stared at her. She smirked.

"Right. You don't read. Go draw or something." She shook her head, throwing a pillow at me.

"I wish something interesting would happen in this goddamn tow-"Right as I was about to finish my sentence, the doorbell rang. I perked up immediately at set out to open the door. After all, ADVENTURE WAITS FOR NO MAN! I flung the door open with as much force as I could muster. My ears drooped. There wasn't anyone at the door. It was just those playful boys from downstairs. I looked down. And they left something here. I figured I'd return it to them after I… Inspected what they had left at my doorstep.

Bec and Felix peered over my shoulder as I plopped the cardboard box onto the ground and began the tedious task of removing the tape from the box. I noticed the box rumble as a soft almost inaudible purr surface from the interior of the box. The box opened to reveal ten pairs of eyes staring at us. Bec immediately dove behind the couch and shrieked for me to 'get those things away from her'. I collapsed on the floor laughing at her reaction. Felix reached her hand into the box and pulled out the onyx coloured cat. Its crimson eyes stared at her as it meowed at her.

"Hey, look. They've got some pretty screwed up colour schemes. Did someone dye them or something? There's even a blue one." Felix commented as she stroked the blue cat. I nodded in agreement, busily chasing Bec around the house with the red cat. It kept hissing at me, pawing at my hands. I thought aloud, "So what should we do with them? Can we keep em?"

Felix shrugged her shoulders, glancing at Bec's direction askingly. Bec glared back with heavy intensity, radiating hatred for the cats through her dull brown eyes.

"No. Don't you dare give me that look. Don't you dare." Felix and I smirked before continuing to look at Bec with pleading puppy eyes. "Gah! Fine! Do what you want, but don't you dare bring them close to me. You hear?!" She grumbled.

I gave Felix a look as we fist pumped, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I pulled the kitties out of the holey (Holy? Get it? Okokok. I stop) box and plunked them carelessly on a cushion. I lifted up the funny looking grey one. It had stitches that ran along its body and four weird multi-coloured patches on its back. Then, it dawned on me.

"I DUB THEE SIR STITCH-A-LOT." I yelled. The cat looked at me with fierce intensity in its eyes. It appeared to be… Staring at my wallet? I shook my head and plopped in on the ground. I looked over at Felix, who was staring at me whilst holding the bright orange cat in her hands.

"This was is soooo much friendlier than the other cats! Look, it's licking my fingers. Then again, it has those weird ring things on its face. Looks like a lollipop, so I DUB THEE SIR LOLLIPOP." Felix mimicked my words dramatically, placing her finger on the cats head like a queen knighting a knight. I rolled my eyes at her, as she started sticking her tongue out at me. My attention was turned back to the kitties, when the other carrot orange feline slunk out the box.

In the end, we named:

The one with stitches on its body, 'Sir Stitches'

The silver one that constantly quarrelled with Stitches, 'Albino'

The adorable lollipop looking one, 'Sir Lollipop'

The black and white feline that seemed to be PMSing, 'Split personality'

the blonde kitty with issues,"Blondie"

the red one with the funny marking on its chest that looked strangely like the kanji for love,'Ai'

The carrot coloured kitty with black dots on its body, "Carrot"

The pretty blue kitty that seemed to be the only she cat among all of them, "Blue'

The other blue kitty with weird gill like markings, 'Fishy'

The last black feline with red eyes, 'Red'

As the night went, our creativity diminished, reducing the back end of cats to having shit names. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, loudly and rudely. I rubbed the nape of my neck and stood up carrying as many of the cats as I could to place them in the room. Felix groaned and picked up a few more. Bec screamed at us and ran into her room, locking it up. I grinned as I placed the cats down in the room I shared with Felix.

She shook her head as she bent down to place the kitties on the ground. Not knowing what to do, Felix and I just shared a look and jumped onto our respective beds, promptly falling asleep.

* * *

**I'm sorry… It's so short… -_- But keep in mind that this is just a taster, a trailer if you will. So I really don't know whether or not I will do it like this or jump back to the original one. So yeah. I'd really like to know what you thought of this version. I tweaked everyone's personalitites too, so the storyline will definitely be different. I'll get th next chapter up ASAP, hopefully in a two to three weeks time.**

**P.S I'm thinking of changing my penname… What do you guys think?**

**Colouring out of the lines,**

**TENEBRAE99**


	2. An Ordinary D- Wait what?

**Lexi's Pov**

As the morning sun began to draw further above the clouds, it shined glaringly into my eyes it was freaking annoying. I turned my head away from the window, groaning as my muscles protested against the idea of movement.

"AHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK!" I shrieked as my face met with a whole bunch of butt fur. I sat up and pushed the kitten the hell off my pillow. The red furred creature stared up at me indignantly as it leapt gracefully off my bed. I glared back, sticking my tongue out at the feline.

Felix groaned as she stared at me with a look that spelled 'I HATE YOU' extremely clearly. I shivered exaggeratedly, wrapping my hands around my body. She rolled her eyes at me and sighed, before hopping off her bed and strolling out of the room to get a bite. I followed her, absentmindedly carrying Sir Lollipop and Split in each of my hands.

I set the two kittens on the ground and watched Lollipops skip away and Split just trotted away, mewing to itself. I giggled behind my hand, as I turned my attention to the GLORIOUS FOOD PREPARED BY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, MOST AWESOME BEC. I peeked into the kitchen only to seeeeeeee… Bec sitting on the table top with her legs on the table, and her hands stretched over to the other side above the stove as if to avoid contact with the floor completely. I fished my phone out of my pocket and jumped into the kitchen yelling,"CHHHHEEESSSEEEE".

Bec yelped as a flash of light shined into her eyes. She nearly lost her balance as she glared at me. I shrugged as I grabbed a bottle of coke from the fridge and poured some of it into a cup. Felix hopped onto the stool and picked up a slice of French toast that Bec was preparing. She flipped open the newspaper while a piece of bread hung out of her mouth. I spammed my French toast with honey and butter before stuffing it into my mouth. I looked at the clock and stretched.

"It's almost time to go now. Gah sucks." I grumbled before getting of my ass. Felix and I shared a look. I glanced evilly at Bec. "Looks like someone's gonna be stuck with the kitties~~"

At that, Bec's entire face froze. I grinned before dashing off to get all my things. When I took a last glance at Bec's face, I sighed. I grabbed the closest three cats on the ground I shoved them into my bag. I peeked into my bag, looking at the three heads that stuck out if my bag inconspicuously. It seemed I'd brought Blondie, Ai and Split. I shrugged uncaring. At least I'd have company during Sam's lecture.

I dove into the comfort of the car I shared with Felix and Bec. I pulled the three (un)fortunate cats and laid them on the side seat. I laughed to myself as I strapped the three cats in. I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket and took a picture. The three of them blankly stared the mechanical device in my hand. I sighed again. I had both Sam's lecture and Mr D's lesson on the time table. I'm so screwed.

**Felix's Pov**

I cracked my neck, taking my time to get my things packed. I was headed out to yet another boring day of office work. Thankfully, after work, I was going to play a little basketball so that would help. I yawned and left the kitchen. Bec was still panicking about the cats. As I got up from the table, I caught a glimpse of Lexi swiping three of the cats. I sighed for the millionth time this morning. I couldn't just leave Bec alone with cats could I? Glancing up at the clock again, I leaned down to pick the three lucky cats that I would be bringing with me. I picked up Lollipop, Carrot and Blue. I left the house just in time to catch Bec shoot me a grateful look as she sat ridiculously on the bar stool that she had moved all the way to the living room in order to catch the episodes of Naruto she had missed over the weekend, when she had been out of town for work. I grinned back at her before out of the house and into my car.

With the cats on my lap, I set off to work.

Bec's Pov

I sat on my little island paradise, snacking on some mini pancakes I had made the previous night. I glanced down at the… parasites sitting on the ground like they owned the place. Tch. My eyes glowed as the TV started showing the fast paced opening of Naruto. I hummed along absentmindedly as I corrected my footing.

After the second episode, I glanced down at the fluffy wastes of space. They seemed to be intently watching the intense battle sequence between Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma and two of the Akatsuki; Itachi and Kisame. This season was on a rerun, but what did I care right? I smirked as the shinobi from two sides of the war traded blows. Feeling thirsty, I leant down to grab the coke I had on the coffee table. Distracted by a kunai flying toward Itachi, accidently knocked over the can of coke. I sighed. How was I going to clean up if the pests were still there?

Just as I was about to get up to sneakily clear up, the cats began to sniff at the brown liquid on the floor. One of them, the albino one stuck a tongue into the mess. I shook my head at his stupidity. Just then, in a giant puff of fog and plot twistedness, four people, guys to be exact, stood in all their naked glory with two cat ears attached to where their ears were supposed to be. I paused and shook my head.

Across the country, three people said the same words together.

"Fuck."

**Sorry for this really half assed chapter! It barely touches 1000 words… But I really wanted to get a chapter out before I leave for my holiday… I'm really sorryyy… I've been so busy with all my other things… **

**SKIP IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME SELF-WHORING!**

**Check out my youtube here: user/KuraiNoAnimeOtaku**

**I do covers of vocaloid songs… I suck…**

**My Instagram name is: Kai_kun_524**

**Just pictures of my drawings… I suck…**

**So now that I'm done with my self-whoring… I just wanted to say, since I feel really guilty that I'm late, you can look forward to at least one chapter of Life Sucks and one chapter (Hopefully) of Half demon…**

**In unrelated news, I want to know if you guys want any Yaoi in it. Mind you, although I enjoy it I'm not sure if I know how to do it… So if you guys write yaoi fanfictions, TIPS AND TRICKS PLEASE?**

**Anyways, Thank you for reading this, and apologies for such a late chapter…**

**Keep on swimming,**

**Tenebrae**


	3. OMG NAKED NEKO-PEOPLE!

SORRY EVERYONE FOR THE UTTER DELAY!

I was actually done a month ago but my stupid Betareader friend decided it would be a good idea to procrastinate… Anyways if anyone wants to beta for me… It would be a great help. I'm also really sorry about the length of this thing… Therefore, I have prepared a proposal that I hope you guys will be ok with. I write easier in small chunks like this because it's easier to deliver messages and is way easier and faster to write. So I think I will try to write a chunk of this every week and a small chunk like this every week for Halfdemon as well.. I hope you guys are ok with that!

Also, I wanted to ask you guys for your opinion on the Pov changing.. Would you rather I switch POVs less or is this ok?

Anyways… Enjoy!

**Lexi's Pov**

Barely had I entered the empty infirmary in an attempt to skip class did a giant cloud of smoke appear from my satchel. I got caught off guard and dropped my man purse with a yelp. I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face, desperately trying to wave away the smoke that was trying to cloud my lungs. I looked down at my now ruined bag and looked back up. Three men stood in all their naked glory, displaying their man pride with nonchalance mixed with confusion.

"Fuck."

I started to shriek for a second before realizing that I was in the infirmary _trying_ to play truant so I slapped my hand over my mouth as a counter.

When I was done 'screaming' I inspected them thoroughly. They looked a helluva lot like Deidara, Sasori and Zetsu but with an addition of two adorable cat ears that adorned the top of their heads. Looking down, they had tails too.

"Are you guys like cosplayers or something? Because you guys look very authentic except that you're naked and have cat ears. Wait... That makes you guys nudist cosplayers with a fetish for felines!" I looked at them proudly, like I'd said something extremely clever. But those idiots just stared at me blankly. I sighed, sad that they didn't understand my wonderful jokes. Well. It was their loss.

After staring at me for a minute, it finally registered in their minds that they were naked I front of a girl. The blond one blushed and dove behind the curtain. The redhead merely examined his body curiously, raising and lowering his limbs with a questioning look in his eyes. The last one just wrapped himself in the green Venus fly trap thing. I smirked. Even their reactions were accurate.

"**What is this girl saying, un?**" The Blondie asked confusingly, still hiding. I stood confused. I had no idea what the blonde was saying, only that it sounded way too much like Japanese to be alien language. Just then, footsteps echoed from down the hallway. I gasped. I couldn't let anyone catch me looking perfectly fine without any sign of illness and with three naked guys in my line of vision.

I grabbed the three of their arms and shoved them one under the bed, one into the cupboard and another behind the cupboard. I put my finger to my lips and shushed them. As the footsteps came closer, I dove onto the bed and tried to look as sick as possible.

The door opened with a creak and Sam stood at the door. I stared at the ceiling, pretending to groan and moan. He rolled his eyes.

"I know you're not sick. Whose lecture are you skipping now?" The corner of his mouth lifted as he asked. I smiled at him sheepishly.

"Mrs D's" I answered. He shook his head in mock disapproval. Just then a rustle came from the curtain. Sam's neck snapped toward the origin of the rustling. It was make or break.

"Ummm... Sam, I need help with something." He raised his eyebrow at me. "I need three sets of men clothes."

He squinted at me, confused. I rubbed the back of my neck before getting up on my feet. I pulled the three naked guys out from their hiding spots and displayed them before Sam. He sighed as he covered his eyes.

"Give me some time" he said before disappearing out the door to get the clothes I had requested from him. I turned to the three of them. I tried to signal to them to wait. I waved my hand in front of their faces trying to make them stop. They merely stared at me with disinterest and continued to make their way to the door. Comically, they still had their arms wrapped around whatever they had found to hide their junk. Except in the case of the red head, who acted like he couldn't care less. I wracked my brain. I couldn't let this three go out to the world in their birthday suits could I?

"Uhh... Um… **Chotto!?**" I shouted, unsure if I had said the right thing. They muttered to each other in Japanese. They cautiously stared at me as they went back to sit on the infirmary. I sighed in relief and sat next to the Venus fly trap. _I wonder how the others were doing. Did this happen to them too?_

**Felix's POV**

I slowly backed into the driveway and glanced at my watch._ Early as always._ I stared down at as lap the three little kittens sat confusedly staring at my speakers. It was blasting my favourite songs. I muttered absentmindedly, "What? Never seen a stereo before?" The tunes of Bye Bye Sayonara sung by a chorus of awesome rocker/singers were playing on my iPod. I sang along to the words that I recognized as stared out the window. No one would be in the office at this ungodly hour, which was exactly why I loved being this early.

All of a sudden, the size and weight of the kittes on my lap increased, emphasis on the weight. I pushed the cats off my lap quickly, yelping in pain. Except they weren't cats.

At least not anymore.

"Fuck."

I screamed bloody murder when I realized what they had become. In place of the three cats were three human males. The three of them were in their birthday suits, their junk digging into my car seat and their legs tangled on top of my lap.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN. YOU'RE BLUE." I pointed at the blue guy at the bottom. "AND YOU'RE NAKED." I cried, pointing at the others. Then I realised something. "OH MY GOD. GET OUT OF THE CAR! YOUR JUNK IS SMEARING ALL OVER MY CAR SEAT." I ran out of the car and swung the door open, pulling all three naked men out. I facepalmed as they stumbled out of each other's arms. I stood over them , wondering what the hell I was going to do with them.

"I'm having a helluva day, aren't I?"


End file.
